I’ll take some help with the two versions of a poem below. I like the longer one to be fitted into a concept-based collection, but I’m not sure which is better for a standalone post. Any thoughts?
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shakemyheadhollow
Conceptual spaces: politics, philosophy, art, literature, religion, cultural history
shakemyheadhollow 
I like the longer one. I think you miss some of the idea with the short version, though maybe it’s because I read the longer one first.
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Thanks, Ken. Good thoughts. I put the longer once first for that reason — so people would be aware of what was trimmed out in the shorter one — but I guess it would make sense to do it the other way too — to put the shorter one first and see if it worked as a coherent whole without prior awareness of the additional backstory. Anyway, we’ll see if I can get a few more comments 🙂 Gary
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Ooo, tricky one. The long seems a little too long (a little judicious pruning?) and the the shorter, too short (a little over-zealous with the secateurs?). Is there a third way?
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Hey, you’re supposed to be making this easier for me, not harder! 🙂
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I think the shorter is better as a standalone. The repeated molcajete in the longer version causes me to wonder about its presence. In the short version it seems more in line with the feeling of loss and disuse. There is vacancy, but no disorder.
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Good thoughts, Nessa. So far I have one vote long, one vote short, and Michael (damn him for making me work!) says find a third way 🙂
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