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Which is best (Haiku #1 or Haiku #2)?

Posted on December 26, 2022 by Daedalus Lex

Two versions of a slant haiku. Please pick one.

Little Tokyo

cherry blossom float and scent
night boat on moonlit water
your second thoughts

Little Tokyo

cherry blossom float and scent
night boat on moonlit water
no second thoughts

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25 thoughts on “Which is best (Haiku #1 or Haiku #2)?”

SaaniaSparkle 🧚🏻‍♀️ on December 26, 2022 at 10:38 am said:

2nd.

LikeLiked by 4 people

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- Daedalus Lex on December 26, 2022 at 11:11 am said:
  
  Thank you, Saania. Your vote counts double for coming in first 🙂
  
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Literary Revelations Publishing House on December 26, 2022 at 1:45 pm said:

I love both.

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- Daedalus Lex on December 27, 2022 at 4:03 am said:
  
  Thanks Gabriela and staff!
  
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hitandrun1964 on December 26, 2022 at 3:33 pm said:

Second one.

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- Daedalus Lex on December 27, 2022 at 4:04 am said:
  
  Thanks, hitandrun!
  
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Displaced and Dispossessed on December 26, 2022 at 4:21 pm said:

2

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- Daedalus Lex on December 27, 2022 at 4:05 am said:
  
  Thanks, Nessa!
  
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  - Displaced and Dispossessed on December 27, 2022 at 3:11 pm said:
    
    Welcome!
    
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Monkey's Tale on December 26, 2022 at 4:22 pm said:

Number 2

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- Daedalus Lex on December 27, 2022 at 4:06 am said:
  
  Thanks, Maggie and Richard!
  
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JMN on December 26, 2022 at 5:41 pm said:

Number 2 by a hair! The negation strikes a note that lends a certain closure.

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- Daedalus Lex on December 27, 2022 at 4:07 am said:
  
  Thanks, JMN. Nice to see you again.
  
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Badfinger (Max) on December 27, 2022 at 5:11 am said:

2

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- Daedalus Lex on December 27, 2022 at 6:50 am said:
  
  Thanks, Max. Man, it’s a blowout for #2. Why could I not see that in at in advance? Probably because I wrote the first one, then tinkered it into the second one as an afterthought.
  
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  - Badfinger (Max) on December 27, 2022 at 2:23 pm said:
    
    I’m a song writer…sometimes that is it.
    
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Isha Garg on December 27, 2022 at 10:45 am said:

The second one ends with a punch

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- Daedalus Lex on December 27, 2022 at 11:33 am said:
  
  Thanks, Isha. I trust your instincts for poetry — a lot. Gary
  
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greenteadoodles on December 27, 2022 at 5:31 pm said:

The 2nd!

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- Daedalus Lex on December 27, 2022 at 11:15 pm said:
  
  Thanks, Hilary!
  
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Bacardi Gold on January 4, 2023 at 10:04 am said:

I’d like to play with my thoughts so, I choose #1. The poem doesn’t end there. Thoughts extend to some possibilities what may happen next.

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- Daedalus Lex on January 4, 2023 at 10:12 am said:
  
  Nice. You’re outnumbered but it’s nice to hear both sides.
  
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Christine Valentor on January 5, 2023 at 3:28 am said:

I like 2.

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- Daedalus Lex on January 5, 2023 at 5:47 am said:
  
  Thanks, Christine. Most people agree 🙂
  
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