Everyone liked the second version of my previous slant haiku. JMN and Isha in particular liked the firmer closure. I think their observations were correct. As I was finalizing, though, I realized that they had enlightened me in reverse. I wanted a little opening in that closure, a little space for melancholia to leak in. But I did not want to revert to the rejected draft. So for now I have this. Just kill me.
or cp.
Addendum: I just re-read them and now I like the one everyone chose last time the best. Forgive me.
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shakemyheadhollow 
I liked the firmer close, but this one feels…more thoughtful. Not melancholic or sad, but wistful, reflective. And why should we kill you? That’s awful.
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I’m leaning your way. And thanks for not wanting to kill me 🙂
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Not an issue. Keep taking nourishment as long as you can.
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Hi,
I must have missed on something (I was very busy) – what happened?
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I liked the original second one best. It spoke to me. Out of these two, I like the second one
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These are things I need to know. I will probably go with your choice.
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I truly liked the second one in your first post. It was beautiful and I felt that it expressed something deep and beautiful. No second thoughts…just peace and acceptance.
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duly noted
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