First Reflection (second step)

Thanks to readers who helped me with the first draft. Everyone liked Ver. 1 of the first stanza. Easy. Votes leaned toward the last line of Ver. 2, less conclusively. I dropped it on my sister’s painting and now have 3 versions of the last line, if anyone still wants to vote.

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13 thoughts on “First Reflection (second step)”

I like the first one the best. It adds something special to the atmosphere of that night.

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Daedalus Lex on February 14, 2023 at 10:01 am said:

Thanks, Tanmay. That’s the one inherited from the earlier draft — less tinkered with. The tinkering was trying to see if I could sculpt in a rhyme or poke the rhythm a little. For now, I will go with your vote (since it’s the first one 🙂 ) — on the priority of content/atmosphere.

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I like the harmony that the rhyme provides in the second one as well as the paradox or creates.

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Daedalus Lex on February 15, 2023 at 12:03 pm said:

Oh man, now it’s getting complicated with people voting different ways. Your vote counts twice, with all the good stuff you put on Twitter, but voting is still a scattergraph.

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- Stur Poet on February 15, 2023 at 12:47 pm said:
  
  I reckon you’ll know best! Look how well democracy is working out in the world at large! 😂
  
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  - Daedalus Lex on February 15, 2023 at 1:18 pm said:
    
    Hahaha. Yes my interaction with readers on all my books is a mixture of democratic input and authoritarian resolve. So I’ll take all the inputs, let them spiral down into my brainstem and then bam! The right choice appears (inscrutably) 🙂
    
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    - Stur Poet on February 15, 2023 at 1:22 pm said:
      
      I find whiskey or, indeed, whisky helps with my creative decisions! 😂😂😂✍🏻✍🏻✍🏻
      
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      - Daedalus Lex on February 15, 2023 at 1:24 pm said:
        
        Alas, whiskey is too strong for me (but a little wine, weed, and LSD never hurt on the creative side — formerly, of course 🙂 )
        
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    - Jennifer Roth on February 16, 2023 at 2:51 am said:
      
      #2 is my vote. Like the concept of “almost know.” Gets me curious about how to put that in context for myself.
      
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      - Daedalus Lex on February 16, 2023 at 4:58 am said:
        
        Thanks, Jen. The votes are now sprawling in different directions!
        
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