scattering of stars
the sound of running water
three doubts forged in fire
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broken wheel / first light
2
Tag Archives: haiku
Kyoto haikus
. road to okini
the old woman stoops
weight of a thousand worries
she turns to and smiles
. otagi-nenbutsu
stone buddhas pepper
the field, the temple, two claps
bend into a bow
. gioji
a river, a wooden teahouse,
a painted face in the window
a princess worn and awaiting
a bamboo hewer’s return
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Just kill me
Everyone liked the second version of my previous slant haiku. JMN and Isha in particular liked the firmer closure. I think their observations were correct. As I was finalizing, though, I realized that they had enlightened me in reverse. I wanted a little opening in that closure, a little space for melancholia to leak in. But I did not want to revert to the rejected draft. So for now I have this. Just kill me.
or cp.
Addendum: I just re-read them and now I like the one everyone chose last time the best. Forgive me.
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Which is best (Haiku #1 or Haiku #2)?
Two versions of a slant haiku. Please pick one.
Little Tokyo
cherry blossom float and scent
night boat on moonlit water
your second thoughts
Little Tokyo
cherry blossom float and scent
night boat on moonlit water
no second thoughts
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a dream of narrow passage
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Drops
From Berlin, 05/01/22
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Which drops?
A little slant haiku. Which do you prefer? The first one (“my”), which orients the field more personally, or the second one (“a”), which orients the field more philosophically/metaphysically?
you
are the rain
drops
falling
on my stone
pillow
xxxx
you
are the rain
drops
falling
on a stone
pillow
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Still falling
From Wroclaw, Poland, 04/24/22
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Hidden passage
From the Black Forest, Germany, 4/11/22
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Black cat
From Chamonix/Mont Blanc, 4/6/22
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shakemyheadhollow 