Thanks to readers who helped me with the first draft. Everyone liked Ver. 1 of the first stanza. Easy. Votes leaned toward the last line of Ver. 2, less conclusively. I dropped it on my sister’s painting and now have 3 versions of the last line, if anyone still wants to vote.
* * * Click covers below for links * * *
. road to okini
the old woman stoops
weight of a thousand worries
she turns to and smiles
. otagi-nenbutsu
stone buddhas pepper
the field, the temple, two claps
bend into a bow
. gioji
a river, a wooden teahouse,
a painted face in the window
a princess worn and awaiting
a bamboo hewer’s return
* * * Click covers for more links * * *
shakemyheadhollow 