Faster to the close we went

the earth stopped turning
and we all went flying
off toward the stars

sparkling, burning, dying,
our stupid awe holding
only to the beauty

hazy memories, moss
and moon, drifting
floating petals

someone on the tiny plaza
just outside my window

flying still toward the stars
faster, faster, stupid awe
holding tight to savage
light and bitter ash

eyes aflame, dreams
and memories void of pain

sparkling, burning, dying, laughing
stupidly good, colder now, yet
faster, faster, to the close
faster to the close
we went

  

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Which drops?

A little slant haiku. Which do you prefer? The first one (“my”), which orients the field more personally, or the second one (“a”), which orients the field more philosophically/metaphysically?

you
are the rain
drops

falling
on my stone
pillow

xxxx

you
are the rain
drops

falling
on a stone
pillow

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Vacancy and order – reader’s choice

I’ll take some help with the two versions of a poem below. I like the longer one to be fitted into a concept-based collection, but I’m not sure which is better for a standalone post. Any thoughts?

 

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Moonlight and ash

Any comments on which of the three versions of the haiku-ish poem below you think best?

1
sun and sea
   a bucket of starfish
your beauty
   moonlight and ash

2
sand and sea
   a bucket of starfish
   smooth in the sun
your beauty
   moonlight and ash

3
sand and sea
   a bucket of starfish
   smooth in the sun
your beauty
   moonlight surf
   a cup of ash

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