Which drops?

A little slant haiku. Which do you prefer? The first one (“my”), which orients the field more personally, or the second one (“a”), which orients the field more philosophically/metaphysically?

you
are the rain
drops

falling
on my stone
pillow

xxxx

you
are the rain
drops

falling
on a stone
pillow

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Still falling

From Wroclaw, Poland, 04/24/22

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Black cat

From Chamonix/Mont Blanc, 4/6/22

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Still falling

From Cornavin Station, Geneva, 4/3/22

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Vacancy and order – update

After feedback from Ken, Michael, and Nessa, I made one small change (removing one full line), which, surprisingly, I think balances those three bits of feedback pretty well 🙂

From Granada, 3/30/22

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Vacancy and order – reader’s choice

I’ll take some help with the two versions of a poem below. I like the longer one to be fitted into a concept-based collection, but I’m not sure which is better for a standalone post. Any thoughts?

 

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Footfalls

From Granada, 3/28/22

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Many cobblestone paths

From Madrid, 3/24/22

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Remembrance

From Mexico City, 3/22/22

 

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We have a winner

Thanks to commenters for weighing in on the three versions of my short poem. Here is the winner (poem by Gary Gautier, painting by Cheryl Gautier):

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